"It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble,
How hopeless the outcome, how muddled the tangle,
How great the mistake.
A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.
And if you could love enough,
You would be the happiest and most powerful person in the world."
- Anathema "Hindsight"
Love is something so often misunderstood. Something so simple and yet so difficult. Or it is seen only as something romantic.
But maybe, in a way, it can be just a way of doing and being aware - and therefore, it also becomes a state of efficiency.
It comes from a place of compassion and in order to feel compassion for others, you must first have it for yourself.
Many feelings or attitudes towards others, tell us something how we feel about our own, possibly secret, hidden parts that we want to deny.
Everyone has them. If someone comes from a place of misanthropy, it probably has something to do with their relationship with themselves, as well. Not always, but you get the drift. This is basic stuff. If we are hard on ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, we might be judgemental towards others as well, on the same scale. We are either aware of that in ourselves, or not.
It's just a question, whether you allow yourself to understand yourself, which is necessary in order before, you can feel compassion to even so-called negative, "weak" parts.
Because, in the end, you cannot change yourself by force, by beating any part of yourself.
But many people, without understanding themselves, have a wound in their relationship with others, with themselves. A separation. This means in the end, that they feel like something is in themselves, that they dont want to be there.
This creates shame.
"I am ashamed of this part in me, for the sick feeling it has."
Our culture sometimes even feeds shame, just in order for all the others to remain their status quo. It's sometimes the reason why we need to label mental problems, or any such negative emotion, as something unwanted. Of course, that's natural.
Nobody wants that, that's a problem. And nobody wants problems.
We want to be stronger, better but not issues! It's painful to look at.
So, in order to love ourselves, we must know ourselves FULLY.
It is a painful process that takes time...sometimes...and that's
why some people rather keep hanging on to their neurosis, dogmatic thinking, compulsions...
I know, that because I come from such place as well. It has given me much as well.
Anyway. That is the first step in how "love". To understand, to know.
Knowledge is power. There is no "evil" in the world, only ignorance.
Acceptance, knowledge - they are something that go hand in hand with the ability to love.
"Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power."
~Marcus Annaeus Seneca~
Only not knowing, ignorance, illusions stop us from loving. "Forgive them for they know not what they do."
When you grow, you come to know yourself, all parts of yourself,
and through that knowledge - which is power - you will grow to go with this flow.
Because, this makes love powerful. Life is never, in the end, under control, not 100 %. You might lose everything in an instant. "Relax - nothing is under control."
Nothing is permanent, except constant change. Therefore, most efficient, most liberating and enpowering thing and attitude you can embody, is learning to be in the place of compassion. It can't go wrong. Life still might suck, bad things might happen to you, it's not about what you get back - but love is required for yourself to be completely who you are.
All sides of yourself, become free to go with the flow of life. No matter what happens.
"Let everything that's been planned come true. Let them believe. And let them have a laugh at their passions. Because what they call passion actually is not some emotional energy, but just the friction between their souls and the outside world.
And most important, let them believe in themselves. Let them be helpless like children, because weakness is a great thing, and strength is nothing. When a man is just born, he is weak and flexible. When he dies, he is hard and insensitive. When a tree is growing, it's tender and pliant. But when it's dry and hard, it dies. Hardness and strength are death's companions. Pliancy and weakness are expressions of the freshness of being. Because what has hardened will never win.”
- Andrei Tarkovsky
Alcholism, for example, is a need to escape. All addictions.
They are diversions so that we wouldn't stay with the pain of being fully human.
Compulsion. Everything in ourselves, which we don't accept, which we cannot embrace, drives us to compulsion. Or traumas, for example. Traumatized person re-lives the experience on some level, or is unconsciously, emotionally, in some sort of an loop. "Something bad happened once - or twice - and I feel / think that is going to happen again."
You cannot rationally think yourself out of trauma. Problem is, in our world, in our very intelligent world, we try work out, even emotionally issues, easily through our intelligence. "Why am I like this? Why am I so weak. I am not good".
But this saps our energy. We stop loving ourselves. We condemn ourselves, something by compulsions - addictions -
unhealhty behaviour. It helps to understand such a problem with your mind, but you can't solve an emotional problem on a rational level. It's like applying maths when you need to rise a child to trust him/herself.
You cannot love yourself just by thinking that you do, in other words. Or others if you don't allow everything that you are in yourself, to flow freely. You have to have certain amount of softness, even in your POWER, in your AGGRESSION.
Whatever you do. It's hard to do, love. But love is, knowing, accepting - but it is also a verb.
But if and when you do love all the parts in yourself fully and therefore others, fully, completely:
"You could be the happiest and most powerful person in the world."
Also check out: Elliott Hulse - "Spreading my love juice"